NOCTURNAL RITUALS

Open the door carefully. The creaking sound wakes the cats up
Check if the washing machine is clean then twist the faucet on
Go upstairs to my room, careful not to step on anything breakable lying around
Change into my running attire
Sort the laundry. Dirty.Too Dirty.Dirty and Stinks.
Shoot laundry in the washer and set for 15 minutes.
Grab house keys and some cash
Walk for around 5 minutes going to my running route
Run for at least 10km through a Hitchcockesque scenery (makes me run faster)
Walk back home
Start rinsing laundry
Fix dinner with soapy hands
Finish rinsing laundry
Wolf down food
Bathe
Hang dry the clothes
Jump into my sleeping costume
Lie down in bed with a bag of chips or peanuts
Set my alarm clock at 6:30 AM knowing that I'll probably rise by 7 AM
Read a book while munching chips (or peanuts) until my eyes become heavy
....zzzzzz.....

Instead Of Doing My Business Report On A Slow Thursday

The call of the vesper bells rang through the woods south of the monastery grounds. A stocky man wearing brown nondescript robes emerged from the edge of the woods. Dangling on a thin chain around his neck was an oak tree shaped brass pendant, signifying him as a monk. He smiled upon hearing excited voices of the villagers and his fellow brothers, "This year's autumn feast will be the best", he said to himself. All around, people were milling about. The ladies in their best dresses were carrying trays of freshly baked bread while the children are setting up the linen for the grand table at the village square. Sturdy lads were already setting up the wood to be used for the grand bonfire later in the night. Some men in stained aprons were slicing thick steaks of freshly roasted veal, while others are still turning pheasants on the spit. The grand table was was later fully laden with fruits, honey, steaming hunks of meat, boiled yams, large wooden bowls of vegetable stew, cheeses and huge loaves of warm crusty bread.

A few monks have just hauled some barrels of wine from the monastery cellar when the abbot raised his voice for everyone to hear, " It has been a very fruitful year for our humble village, the spirits have blessed us with a bountiful harvest and everybody is in good health. Even our elderly, including myself, are still still strong enough to fell an ox, " the villagers gave out heavy laughter at this statement. The abbot continued summarizing the pleasant events that happened that year, like the marriage of Matliena to Torsvein, the birth of Bartholomaeus, the twins that the village's oldest cow, Gela, calved and the time when Brother Canutus banished some Unseelie Fae that was causing unrest to the forest animals.

The festivities continued well in to the night with the roaring bonfire warding of the chill of autumn air. The merrymaking died away when the last of the wine barrels were drained. Children were tucked into bed, rubbish were fed to the bonfire and men who've had too much to drink were carted home. That's when the clatter of hooves were heard and half a hundred armored knights brandishing torches were seen approaching the village. Shouts of "Burn the heathen!", "Heretics!" and "Spawn of Darkness!" were coming from them. The knights thundered pass the first row of houses, their mounts trampling over some of the youth who were still sprawling about. In a span of a few moments, some of the houses were already burning and the slaughter of the villagers ensued. The monks supplicated to the knights for the massacre to stop but were answered by swords pointed at their throats.

By dawn, all inhabitants of the village were piled in a mass grave to be later salted and burned, the only way to permanently kill servants of the Dark. The captain of the knights was carefully looking over the map he was holding when he said in a booming voice, "Men, we may have made an error in terms of directions. It seems that the heathen village we are looking for is farther east from here." One of the younger knights stood up from his saddle and voiced out, " Captain, with all due respect, this is the third village we have had a mistake of burning and you tell us that this is yet another 'error'?" The captain, who was openly weeping now, let out a long sigh and said, " Aye lad. More innocent blood is on our hands again. It seems that the Enemy has tricked us once more...but will we let ourselves be fooled by the Dark? Will we let the Enemy and his servants suffer to live when we are very close to sending them back to the pit where they belong?! Will we stay here and wallow in guilt or do we ride forward and burn the nest of these serpents?! What say you?!", the captain's question cut through the cold air of the morning. All the knights straightened on their mounts, pulled their visor down and responded, " We ride!". The captain spurred his horse forward, " The next village going east is, without a mistake, the one we have been searching for. Leave no men standing. Burn everything to the ground!", he commanded. "For the Light!". roared all of the knights in unison.

The Five Sayote You Meet In Heaven

You pass through the pearly gates and see St. Peter scanning everyone with a metal detector (if it beeps you'll be sent to purgatory). A cherub gives you a brochure with glossy pictures of amenities you could have once you're a member.

Requirements for membership:
- You have to be dead
- Without any binding contract with the devil regarding your soul
- Passed St. Peter's thorough examination
- Must have completed all the sacraments
- Willing to avail a shiny halo upon membership

So you've passed steps 1 and 3. Still trying hard to remember if you've made any infernal contract back when you were a teenager and pretty sure that you'd like a shiny halo. Sacraments? Isn't that a city in California? You asked the cherub how you could be sure you've completed the sacraments. The winged toddler gave you the once-over and suggested you meet the verification committee; second building to the left of the apple tree, watch out for the serpent.

The verification office reminded you of P.G.H. back in the 80's, all gray and white without a hint of pastel. You were led to a room at the topmost level. You had to float and pass through ceilings and floors to get there.

And there they were, five green, glossy and slightly prickly vegetables. Sayote. You heard a collective hum, felt something brush your mind and saw your life flash in front of you. "So this is the part where 'this' happens!" you tell yourself. A few minutes later you got a clearance card from a seraph and was sent to the registration center to get your membership card.

You're now officially in heaven! But how did those vegetables know everything about your life? How could they know anything at all in the first place? You asked the wisest looking bloke you could find hanging around the garden and (of course) ended up with Him-whose-name-must-not be-used-in-vain. "Hi Mr. God," you greeted. "Yes, I know what you're thinking," He cuts in, "sit down, listen carefully, I don't like repeating myself so might as well write this down in a stone tablet."

"All the sayote on earth came from heaven, I sent them down when my angels were on the verge of another uprising from being overworked. Angels actually do almost everything: administrative work, surveillance, counseling, policing, soldiering, etc. I didn't want another Lucifer in my hands so I gave the surveillance and intelligence task to the first living entity I saw. The sayote. So much for the grand design huh? Haha! It turned out they were a good choice, sayote could be found almost anywhere! Of course, they prefer to stay in high and cold places like Baguio, it reminds them of Eden."

"So how come the sayote know everything about your life? They're everywhere! What was the first solid food your mother fed you? Mashed sayote! What was your dad's all time favorite? Chopsuey with lots of sayote extenders! Buttered vegetables with sayote was the usual side dish in you elementary school cafeteria! Sauteed sayote was the dish you cursed every time it was served at home! Sayote is the "apple" in that apple pie you order in your favorite cafe! It's everywhere! It's in all those vegetable soup that they give in sidewalk restaurants! It's in every market place and grocery store!... Did I answer your question?" God didn't wait for a reply and just vanished on the spot.

So there you were all alone with more question in your head before you spoke to Him. Then, a thin ray of light broke through the clouds and shone on your head. The halo you ordered just arrived.

The Complete Idiot's Guide on Running When You Can
(a tale of inconsistency...so far)

Race, Date, Length, Excuses
Adidas KOTR Mar 11, 07 10k 51 min my first run!
Nike iPod + Run Apr 14, 07 5k 27 min underestimated a 5k run
Global City Run Apr 29, 07 5k 24 min still sucked
Runnex May 13, 07 16k 1 hr 13 min not bad at all!
Champion Fun Run May 20, 07 10k 1 hr 14 min slowed down by flu
Run for PEACE Jun 10, 07 21k n/a really late
Olympic Day Run Jun 23, 07 10k 51 min same-o same-o
Adidas KOTR Jul 1, 07 21k 1 hr 55 min my 1st half-marathon!
31st Milo Marathon Jul 22, 07 42.195k 4 hr 40 min first full marathon!
Barbizon Fun Run Aug 4, 07 2k 8 min 45 sec placed 3rd
Red Cross Run Aug 5, 07 5k 19 min placed 6th, PR
Media Run Aug 12, 07 10k 44 min 35 sec PR!
Great UP Run Aug 22, 07 10k 45 min 22 sec Ended up with two weeks of flu!
2nd F.A.M.E. Run Sep 23, 07 5k 25 min 5.86 km to be exact
Adidas Run for Love-GK Oct 27, 07 11k 52 min 11.2, actually
New Balance Power Race Nov 11, 07 25k 2 hr 9 min 50 sec chip timing!
Animo Run Nov 25, 07 10k 49 min
Yakult 10 Miler Dec 9, 07 5k 23 min
6th DND AFP Dec 16, 07 21k relay 1 hr 30 min bagged 3rd place!
Ictus Century Run Jan 113, 08 6k 29 min 5k w/ an extra km! #@^*
Bull Run Jan 27, 08 5k 21 min

THE CAT IS ON THE MAT
(a.k.a. Killing Time In The Office)

Once there was on orange cat who lived top of a church roof
She doesn't know what she looks like, can't tell a flower from a hoof
Her food comes from the skies, or bats who can't really fly
And she thought that it will always be the same, until the day she die


But then came a tomcat whose fur was white as snow
If Mary ever saw him,her lambs, she wouldn't care if they'd follow
Needless to say that this tomcat was the epitome of whitedom
And when our she-cat saw him, she thought "this creature owns a kingdom"


Our orange cat and the white tomcat stared at each other for a while
Then this little poem went out of hand, so I'll end it with a smile.

POETRY FOR JULY





I ran up the bridge
Then ran going down
Again I trudged up the bridge
And I'm not slowing down
I'm looking for the highest ridge
I seem to be lost in this town
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'm having some popcorn
For breakfast, that's not healthy
But my mind cannot be torn
Because this breakfast is for free
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Working is a bummer
I'd rather read a book whole day
But that can't buy me a Hummer
So in this cubicle I stay

No More Blue Skies


The cockroaches in Ermita are in a sexual frenzy. Walking down the streets of Orosa street, I see more than a dozen roaches immersed in insectoid humping. A bright eyed street kid in dust stained "Vote Atienza!" shirt is gleefully squishing these six legged street copulators. "Two cockroaches with one stomp," not a bad way to spend the night I guess. Off the corner of U.N. avenue a couple of sleazy teenagers were wearing their best "charm smile" to get the attention of a pretty girl passing by. That girl, Diane, works in a nearby Japanese Karaoke which caters to males only 45 years old and above. I work next door in a building made in the 60's. Across the street is fairly huge balete tree, uprooted by the latest signal number 4 typhoon. If spirits do inhabit that tree, as our spaced-out receptionist said, I'm sure they're out doing what spirits do in an evacuation camp somewhere. The stars are nowhere to be seen as usual, they usually hang out in Malate but never a sighting of even one in Ermita since World War 2. A dogs scavenging brings about the fresh scent of wet garbage. The night has barely begun. The cockroaches, I noticed, are now doing a rain dance with the boy who was slaughtering them earlier. Just a normal night, nothing ever changes here.